We haven't talked for a while. I do recall the plan we had for this day. Although we were not in very good terms before this, I was expecting your call. I didn't know how to explain it, but I really knew that this will happen. It didn't come as a surprise.
Was it awkward? How did you feel when I showed up? I wanted to ask you. But the words wouldn't come out the way I would want them to. Instead, I just mustered a simple "hi". You smile back and said: "hello".
I never really given it much thought, I don't really know what will happen after this day, but I showed up because I really wanted to see you. I wanted to test myself, maybe I wanted to gauge if the feeling was still there. At the initial moments I couldn't tell. I was overwhelmed by your presence. We were not alone, but we always have this connection and we can always easily communicate our feelings. We needed no words to tell how comfortable each other's company is. I wanted to ask you so many questions, like the way we used to ask each other about anything.
From time to time you would mention how silent and how detached I am. From time to time you would ask how am I or am I bored, and sorts like that. I wanted to tell you. Perhaps the reason I wasn't so engaged or why wouldn't I engage on a conversation with you was that I really don't believe I needed to. I never wanted to open up again and be disappointed when the day ends. I didn't want to be hopeful, after all it was just a promise that I tried to fulfill.
The yellow sunset and the blooming sun flowers--those huge, bright yellow blooms--that day will be forever etched in my memory. It is and always will be a good memory to recall --the walk and the chats we had-- as the day comes to pass and the night covers us with its cold, but pleasant darkness. We were walking slowly and you were still clinging to my left arm. We were talking to hide disbelief, hide our worries and acted as if we will not be changed by this day. But change is inevitable. We're not the same. I am changed, and I can tell that you also were.
And until we meet again, the warmth of April will always be nostalgic to me.
**malapit na naman ang Graduation.. Congrats sa mga magtatapos.